Fern and the case of the missing underpants
by Sheigo
Summary: Girls underpants have been disappearing mysteriously So Fern is on the case. An attempt at a mystery story I guess
1. Chapter 1

Fern and the case of the missing underpants.

Arthur is © Marc Brown

Author's note: An attempt at some sort of mystery story, and average attempt at trying to do a cliffhanger…

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It was Muffy's birthday party, everyone was invited to the celebration at Crosswire mansion despite Muffy's protests of inviting Buster Baxter and Binky Barnes, as well as a few other people she didn't want there; but as long as their parents were there as well, they could probably behave themselves.

Buster was bored of course, he decided to join his friends but they were also bored, they were to sit and watch Muffy open gifts but Buster and the other boys had other plans; plans that involved aimlessly wandering around.

Buster alone decided to explore the Crosswire mansion instead but he couldn't find much excitement seeing the fine art and sculptures.

After the gifts were unwrapped Buster joined his mother; it was time to go home for the day, Buster was glad, he felt he could have better spent the time doing homework instead of spending time at a rich girls house and watching her open like 90 gifts.

Muffy was satisfied with all the new stuff she had received, she and Bailey went to her room, it had looked like someone well went in earlier; Muffy and Bailey set the gifts down nervously to take a look, everyone was to be outside, but of course there were stragglers wanting to look at paintings, she figured someone needed the washroom and she didn't really think of it.

They had gathered the rest of the gifts up and set them in her room, after that Muffy had decided to have a fast bath and change for bed.

She had looked in her drawer of socks and underwear, it wasn't organized like it usually should be, a few pairs of her underwear were missing, she didn't know whether to be suspicious of anyone or not… unless some socks and underwear were missing in the laundry and one of the servants had been looking for it, she kept reminding her self it was probably lost in the wash, the thought that someone had taken about three or four pairs of her silk underwear was asinine… if a person stole underwear they would probably have complex issues…

Muffy decided to put a pair on that wasn't lost and decided to put on her pajamas and she went to sleep not thinking anything about it.

The next day at school, the thing that was nagging at Muffy's mind was the disappearance of her underwear either someone took it or it was lost in the laundry to her clothes being lost in the laundry was a whole new ballgame, those sorts of things happened, she figured her servants got worried and looked without cleaning up the mess. She cleaned it up herself.

The bell had rang for class… Monday morning, 9 AM, Mr. Ratburn smiled as he had sat behind the wooden desk, it was the start of a new school week, and of course he would be happy.

"Class, your collages for your school project on life are going to be due in a week, a short write up and a collage of what you studied is needed for a pass."

After hours of homework that was to be assigned, school was done, Buster was to work with Sue Ellen and Arthur on some math; he was looking at the paintings in the den, this was his first time over at the Armstrong house.

"Sue Ellen, where is the bathroom?" The inquisitive rabbit boy asked as he really needed to go.

Sue Ellen responded as she looked at him nervously, she almost expected him to do something mean or cruel to her like vandalize the restroom, "Upstairs third door on the left, I would send you to the one on the main floor but there is something wrong with the toilet."

Buster ran upstairs, quickly used the bathroom, and he had looked in some of the rooms curiously just snooping around looking at some more strange stuff.

Moments later Buster was back downstairs as Sue Ellen and Arthur had chuckled at him, all Arthur said was, "Did you get lost?"

All Buster said was "No."

"Good, then I could use the bathroom," and Arthur had done so as well he looked in a few rooms but quickly ran back downstairs to avoid suspicion.

It was laundry day in the Armstrong house, Mrs. Armstrong was humming while doing laundry, sorting the socks, underwear and clothes, and she sighed, as she didn't really want to go to the Crosswire mansion for the party.

When Arthur and Buster left, Sue Ellen had helped her mother put some of her clothes away, they were in Sue Ellen's room; the cat girl opened the sock and underwear drawer, Mrs. Armstrong was a bit suspicious, "That's odd, I thought you had more pairs…"

Sue Ellen was to put the term nicely a bit shocked as the author couldn't find any other raw emotions to used, she at first thought Buster or Arthur took them, but of course Buster never been over to her house before and it would take moments for him to find the bathroom... and her room for that matter, besides no one should jump to such silly conclusions, or blame people without asking questions later,

Mrs. Armstrong explained, "It happens, sometimes socks and underwear get lost in the laundry… I will look for them."

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Buster had gone over to Prunella's; she was sitting on the front porch reading a Henry Skreever book, "Hey Buster!"

"Hi, what's new?"

"Not a whole lot how'd you like Muffy's party?" Prunella asked as she put the bookmark in and shut the book.

"It was so booooorrrrriiiinnnggg!" Buster complained truthfully knowing he wasted an evening which could have been spent watching a Bionic Bunny marathon, "I kind of wandered off when Muffy opened her gifts."

Prunella chuckled, "You do seem to have a short attention span…"

Buster was looking at a bird then snapped back, "Huh?"

Prunella just chuckled as she let him in the house, "So I take you were bored at the party?"

"Yea, it was, I still couldn't believe she invited everyone including their parents."

"…Probably just to try and make them like the Crosswires better. I assume Mr. Crosswire set up the whole thing."

Buster seemed a bit antsy he had the runs, "I need to use the restroom…"

"It is down the front hallway door on the left."

Buster ran to the washroom, to find the door locked, someone was using it, "Prunella!"

Prunella ran towards the rabbit boy, "What?"

"Locked…"

Prunella led Buster upstairs to the restroom and he had closed the door behind him while Prunella went back down.

Five minutes later Buster came back downstairs, his pockets bulged with something and Prunella saw what the bulge of the pockets she pulled it out as Buster gave little resistance knowing he couldn't lie to her.

To Be Continued


	2. Chapter 2

Prunella grabbed a wad of toilet paper out of Buster's pocket, he chuckled nervously, "Toilet paper?"

"I've been sneezing a lot, I grabbed some just to be prepared," Buster explained as he quickly grabbed it back and sneezed.

Prunella chuckled, "Oh, I thought you pocketed something…"

"No…" Buster replied as he left.

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The next day after school, Buster, and Binky decided to do something with Fern, she had bought the DDR game, and was playing it with Sue Ellen, Buster and Binky sighed, they were so much better at it than them.

"Fern how did you get so good at it?" Buster asked curiously.

"I don't know, I guess I am a natural…" Fern commented.

Sue Ellen looked at her score, "You bested me…" and Fern chuckled.

Buster and Binky went outside and Binky sighed, "I thought she would be fun to do something with…"

Buster ran inside, "Be right back," he ran into Mrs. Walters, "Oh hello."

She smiled at him, "Hi Buster, what's new?"

"Not much, the same old stuff," he jumped around as if he had ants in his pants, "W-where is the washroom?"

Mrs. Walters chuckled, as she led him there, but it was locked, Buster sighed, "Fern!"

"I am using the washroom!"

Mrs. Walters took Buster upstairs, he closed the door and he had done his business, when he had got out Binky was there, "I got to go as well."

Buster had wandered around for a bit, and he went downstairs, as did Binky, but who could blame them both for wandering, they were just kids.

After Sue Ellen, Buster and Binky had left Fern went upstairs, she was shocked it had looked like someone was in her room, "Mom!"

Mrs. Walters ran in, "What is it?"

"Someone was in my room…"

"Everything seems to be where it is," Mrs. Walters looked down, perhaps it may be time to clean your room a little bit…" she paused and looked at the laundry basket of clothes and the slight mess on the floor, "Put those away."

Fern put them away as Mrs. Walters left, she opened the sock and underwear drawer and to her shock all her underwear was gone, "I thought I had five pairs in there…"

She disregarded it, many strange things had happened, but investigating this especially with lots of homework proved to be a waste of time, mainly because she had no time to investigate the disappearance of undergarments.

She had started her math homework, she silently thought about this though, Sue Ellen wouldn't do anything of the sort, but it would probably be one of the boys, starting with Buster or Binky.

But she couldn't suspect them, Buster would love to investigate a case, he loved mysteries as much as Fern if not more. Fern thought that Binky had stolen her underwear, but talking about stolen undergarments would be impossible to talk about with her friends.

When she finished her math homework she had cleaned her room a bit more and went down for dinner not thinking about what just happened, she had continued her homework after dinner and went to bed.

The next day it was raining terribly, Fern decided to talk to Buster about the supposed situation, "Buster, I have a mystery that I possibly need some help solving."

"I have lots of homework still…" Buster explained.

Fern sighed; normally Buster would help, she asked him why, "Why?"

"Because, I kept it all until the last minute and I don't want to get in trouble by my mom."

Fern shouldn't be suspicious of Buster, and she blurted out, "I think Binky stole my underwear…"

Buster laughed hysterically...

He wasn't the best person to tell, but she needed to get her point across.

After school, Francine, Buster and the Brain were standing outside waiting for their parents, Mrs. Powers picked him up; and Mr. Frencky drove by, calling out to Buster, "Your mother dropped off your pajamas at our place; you are to spend the night with us because she is stuck in Crown City…"

Buster and Francine looked at each other and boarded the dump truck. When they got to Westboro residence of Francine Frensky they had ate dinner, "Buster glad you could make it."

"Yea, I know my mom is in Crown City, she didn't know if she could get back here or not due to the rain," Buster explained as he nibbled on the pasta.

"She said she will be back tomorrow," Mrs. Frensky replied as she placed some salad on her plate.

Buster finished dinner and he diligently did his homework in Francine's room, due to the silence because Katharine would be watching TV, as would Francine and her father, he needed some place quiet.

Four hours later he was done and in bed.

The next morning Buster quickly showered and got changed, he had stuffed everything of his in his bag and his mom was waiting in front of the apartment building for him, she had drove him home and Buster put his clothing away and went back to school.

Francine fresh out of bed showered and was getting changed herself, she looked in her drawers for some clothes, the usual dark red shirt and blue jeans she had noticed a few pairs of her underwear was gone.

She thought Buster had done it, but to her Buster knows better than to snoop in other people's things, "Probably got lost in the laundry…"

As the days had passed more and more of the girl's underwear had gone missing, Fern had invited Sue Ellen, Muffy, Prunella, Jenna and Francine over.

Sue Ellen lowered her head, "You want to go play DDR against me again?"

"No, this is important, out of curiosity I am curious to know, have any of you had your underwear mysteriously disappear?"

And all they responded with was a, "Yes."

"I hardly have any pairs left…" Muffy replied, "Someone at the party took them!"

"Probably Binky…" Francine stated.

"Don't jump to conclusions," Fern warned, "I will see if Buster could help me solve this."

After their little meeting they all went their separate ways and Fern decided to go to Buster's, Buster was outside doing some homework, "Buster, I need to talk to you!"

Buster looked at her nervously, he didn't do anything wrong but the way she said it seemed like she was on a warpath.

To Be Continued.


	3. Chapter 3

Buster swallowed nervously he was nervous of Fern, "I didn't do anything wrong!"

Fern sighed desperately, she needed any help she could get and Buster always enjoyed a good mystery from time to time, "Buster, I need your help I can't solve this case on my own, I want you to help me, investigate why girls underwear is being stolen."

Buster lowered his head in sadness it was a good excuse, "I got in some trouble for handing an assignment in late, and I have to go to detention after school so I can't help you."

Fern of course didn't buy it, she was annoyed and had some good reason to be, "But I can't do this on my own, most of my underwear is gone!"

Buster had lent a good suggestion as a small smile formed on his face, "Tell your mom to buy some more…"

Fern sighed, there was no going pass old smart-alecky Buster; she needed help, Buster was being in her mind… useless to put it nicely there were other words but useless was as far as nice as she could go...

Buster to tell the truth didn't want to help her, he had detention and probably Rattles and Binky would do mean things to him, "I don't want to go to detention; If I go they always hang me on a coat hook by my underwear!"

Buster knew he was handed his fate, but Fern sighed as she was upset, "I don't believe you…"

Fern was a tough person to get by despite Buster getting in trouble she thought he was lying to her, she was very observant but this case was killing her...

After detention Buster was well literally hanging around, waiting for some help when Fern saw him hanging off a coat hook from his underwear, he was nearly crying in pain, "See?"

Fern lowered her head, Buster was telling the truth, "I am sorry, I am just a bit upset… It is so embarrassing that someone could take other peoples underwear… I feel violated because of it," she finally calmed down, "Will you help me now or what?"

"I can't…"

"WHY?" she asked in shock. Buster should at least help her but he threw another reason why he couldn't help her.

"I am grounded remember?"

Fern helped Buster off the coat hook as the rabbit boy was wincing in pain; Rattles looked at Buster, "Time for a Star Spangled Wedgie!"

Fern sighed and she left, as she went outside; Rattles and Binky ran Buster up the flagpole, "See Binky this is a Star Spangled Wedgie!"

Fern sighed as she went home to officially start her detective work!

She checked her drawers, over and over again with few leads, and then checked the washer and dryer in the basement, for some more leads to see if they were disappearing; her leads were getting a bit flawed, "Hmm,"

She called her mom after she was a bit tired of not having much to go on, "Mom!"

Mrs. Walters went to see what the matter was, "What are you doing Fern?"

"I want to know about the missing underwear…"

Mrs. Walters interrupted her, "Fern, sometimes clothes go missing while in the wash; why are you so obsessed over pairs of underwear for?"

"Because someone took them," Fern commented, "I would like to know who…"

Mrs. Walters sighed, Fern was being a bit obsessive over the current situation, "I think it might be time for you to get some fresh air…"

Mrs. Walters sent Fern outside, this was a failure, she couldn't figure out how it was done, this was a problem, an utter problem so bad that she needed to try another persons house, a girls house, she tried Sue Ellen's because it was much easier, and there would be more room for error if she went to Muffy's or Francine's…

When she got there Sue Ellen had answered the door, "Sue Ellen, I need to do some investigating…" She nodded and let her in to check some things out, "I want to know about the disappearing underwear…"

"I lost like five pairs, if you want to talk to my mom, she can probably provide some insight."

Fern and Sue Ellen ran downstairs, "Help me count them…"

Moments later, "10 pairs, when your mom runs them through the washer and dryer we are going to count them."

An hour later, the laundry was done, Mrs. Armstrong had smiled at both girls, they had both counted 9 pairs, "Hmm, it must be the laundry…"

Sue Ellen checked the dryer, "Nope they clung to the side of the dryer."

"Ok, now we are going to take them to your room."

They had done just that and counted them again, "10 pairs."

"Hmm…"

Fern was now lost, "Did anything strange happen when you lost your underwear?"

"Not really…" Sue Ellen explained, "The only two people who were here were Arthur and Buster, but I don't see-"

Fern had interrupted her, "I think I will have a talk with them both…"


	4. Chapter 4

Author's note: This is the last chapter, couldn't make it to five chapters, and I am going to take a few weeks off from submitting anything, as I am well just bored of writing stuff…

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Fern had decided to go to Arthur's this was the first place to see who would be the thief of the girls underwear, it was nerve-wracking she needed to know as this prank wasn't funny; it was embarrassing and most certainly immature.

She knocked at the door of the Read house when Arthur answered, he had smiled slightly when he had seen her, she began to talk, "Arthur, I want to know something, do you know why girls underwear is disappearing?"

Arthur was caught off guard by this question, "I err uh…"

Fern sighed, she figured she was too blunt to ask him the question, but Arthur had composed himself, "No."

"Can we do a bit of checking around?" Fern asked as she wasn't really satisfied with the answer.

Fern had searched everywhere while Mr. and Mrs. Read were looking at her strangely, she had checked every floor, every room and every closet, cupboard including the washer and dryer but no luck, nothing came about, not even any clues, she lowered her head in sadness, "I am sorry for wasting your time…" Arthur noticed how sad she was, she was really anxious to solve this mystery but without any clues this had become a cold case.

She had left to see Sue Ellen and Prunella, her voice had soon turned to sorrow, "I am sorry…"

"Wait, you went to both places to see what happened?"

She sniffed, "No… I just went to the one, and had no results, no clues, nothing."

Prunella of course knew, "Who did you go to?"

"Arthur's."

"I certainly hope Buster gives more clues."

Fern took a deep breath and she had gone to Buster's, "Buster, we need to talk, girl's underwear is disappearing and you are a suspect, tell me, and are you responsible?"

Buster was laughing, "No…"

Fern tore the condominium apart from top to bottom and still no clues had come, nothing, after searching the poodle girl of course was upset, she had rejoined Sue Ellen and Prunella, she was almost crying, "I failed you both…"

"Don't say that, something will come up."

"No, nothing will come up, no clues at Buster's or Arthur's, I bet Francine and Muffy have lost more pairs."

Muffy had come up, "I don't have any pairs left except for the one I am wearing… a few of the boys were for swimming, but I don't see why…"

"All mine is gone as well," Francine added, "Binky, Arthur and Buster were listening to my drumming the day before, and after they left it was all gone."

Sue Ellen ran to her house across the street she looked in her drawer and found it was bare, someone had taken her underwear she ran back to join her friends, "Mine is gone too…"

Fern and Prunella assumed theirs was gone as well, Fern shot up a new idea, "Who was over each time while we were doing something with them?" She then answered "Binky and Buster but I don't see if you aren't getting anything from Buster, why would he be a suspect? I am going to Binky's he is a new suspect." Fern stated and she walked over.

Fern took a breather; she needed to solve this, as it was getting out of hand now, she went to see Binky, "Binky we need to talk, I know you have done it so just confess!"

Binky was nervous, "Done what?"

"You know, you stole all the girl's underwear and well give it back!" She yelled.

"I didn't!"

Fern ran inside and she checked everything from top to bottom, and ended up with nothing, no girl's underwear, and no clues nothing, this had really disappointed her.

Fern joined her friends as she was upset, "Nothing! I am never going to solve this! Buster won't help me!"

Sue Ellen patted her friend on the back, she needed it after all the disappointment that she faced, "We will have to see, our collages are done tomorrow and we will need to get them done."

The next day at school Fern was still in disgust that she hadn't solved the mystery, when she entered the classroom to see what everyone had done for their collages she was shocked, utterly shocked and embarrassed, there was a collage there of the girls underwear, it was Busters!

"Mr. Ratburn!" She yelled.

Ratburn came, "Fern what is it?"

She pointed at Buster's collage, "What is this?"

"Buster is studying different types of fabric…"

"No, it is girl's underwear; he had stolen it from Sue Ellen, Francine, Muffy, Prunella and I."

Mr. Ratburn took a closer look and indeed it was girl's underwear, "I understand how embarrassed you feel right now."

Sue Ellen, Francine, Muffy and Prunella came after hearing the yell they were equally shocked seeing their underwear put on display.

Mr. Ratburn sighed, "Buster will be having some explaining to do, plus a detention, and a phone call home."

Buster entered as everyone looked at his collage, "Hey! I can't believe you all like it!"

Fern tackled Buster, "I HATE YOU! YOU EMBARASSED ALL OF US FOR THE LAST TIME!" she was strangling him.

However Mr. Ratburn separated them both and Fern ran out of the room crying as the other girls calmed her down, "Buster, you are going to apologize to these girls for what you did, and you will have to go for a detention, _and_ I am going to give your mother a phone call about what you did."

After school, Buster was home, his mother of course wasn't too impressed, "Buster, you are going to be grounded for a month for what you did!"

Buster sighed sadly as he went to his room to get changed but couldn't find any pairs of his underwear, he ran downstairs, "Where is my underwear?"

"What underwear?" Mrs. Baxter asked.

The End.


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